SMILE (or simply try to!)

By Georgette Pascale, Pascale Communications, and Tamara Bogetti, Bryn Mawr Communications

With heavy workloads, social pressures, and challenges of family or single life weighing upon us, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Sadly, the manifestation of being stressed and overwhelmed is that we may find ourselves being edgy, angry, short, frustrated, or unpleasant to be around. With so much on our plates, it’s not surprising that this happens and we end up not being our "best selves."

Why do we end up in this position when we are trying so hard to excel, to please everyone, and to come out ahead? Our unrealistic expectations and sense of entitlement in life can serve to limit us and block our ability to be truly happy.

We expect our employees to work hard and care about their jobs. We expect our colleagues to support and respect us. We expect our friends to tell us we look good or that they're proud of us. We may believe we are entitled to having things go our way because we have been working so hard and making so many sacrifices. All the things that we chase after, though, will give us brief satisfaction at best.

So, how do we maintain a positive attitude and find ourselves truly happy despite all the many elements tugging at our time? As the holidays inch near, there is no better time to work on maintaining a positive attitude.

One of the first ways we can achieve happiness is to stay present. This is a particular challenge for the ultra-successful, busy doers who have things to plan, strategies to brainstorm, and many things to worry about. But if we allow ourselves to be present - to embrace whatever is happening at that moment - we open ourselves to experiencing delights in the here and now, countering stress. If this means that the floor does not get mopped when we think it should, that’s okay. Being present makes all the difference.

Another way to be (read: even appear! Let’s start there) happier and more positive is to stop wasting so much time being negative. If we had a penny for all of the times we’ve listened to complaints (we all need to vent healthily but there is a time and place for that), we’d be millionaires. Instead of whining about a demanding client or a colleague . . . worry about YOU and YOUR OWN MISSION! Trust us; it will take away stress and change your focus.

Another easy way to stay positive is to focus on gratitude. Be thankful for all the many things that have gone right in your life, in your day, and in your job.

Dwelling on the negative not only will make you feel miserable, but it can be a poor choice in the workplace. Bottom line is that no one (boss, client, or colleague) wants to hear complaints. By thinking of the reasons that you have to be gracious, it will lead you to a more uplifted state of mind and you will find yourself being treated better as a result.

Managing expectations is yet another area to keep in check. We all have expectations, some of them much too high ever to be reached. If we have a viewpoint of entitlement, we will end up disappointed in life. No one is perfect (not even our bosses); putting others on pedestals is a slippery slope. We should treat people equally and be willing to realize mistakes that we make while forgiving others for making them as well. Part of managing expectations is also being honest and candid at times, rather than holding onto the negative emotions and letting them turn into grudges and passive-aggressive tendencies.

Philanthropy is a way that we not only give back but also learn to appreciate our lives and all of those “goodies” that we tend to forget. By giving to others and making others happy, we find the route to inner happiness. It seems so simple, but often we forget to put others first. Finding simple beauty in something can bring your mood to a whole new level. We are big believers in karma. Goodness will come back in volumes if you extend a positive and proactive attitude to the world. It is truly what matters most to self-fulfillment.

Whether it’s the holidays, business planning, or any time of year, maintaining a positive attitude will help you in your work and personal live. It is a simple ideal, yet difficult to attain. It may require introspection and diligent effort to ensure you are doing all that you can to see the brighter side of things.

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December 2011 eNews